The Doctor, His Daughter and Me Page 13

  She ached for his strong arms to enfold her in a tender embrace.

  She yearned to feel the passion of his searching lips on hers.

  She wanted him in her bed, exploring the new and rediscovering what they’d cherished in the past. Ryan was the only person she wanted to travel the path of her reawakening, and there was an opportunity for their journey together to begin tonight.

  ‘Yes, I’d like that,’ Tara finally said.

  She let out the sighing breath that had been struggling for release. Ryan glanced back at the house and she followed his gaze to the veranda, where she was just in time to see the front door close.

  ‘I’ll meet you at the Riverside, then.’

  ‘Yep, I’ll follow you there.’

  * * *

  When they arrived back at the motel, apart from scattered lights and the monotonous drone of television, the place was quiet. Ryan had followed Tara’s slow drive to the motel and she’d pulled up next to his unit. Once Tara was settled in her wheelchair he marched ahead to turn the lights on and crank up the heating as there was a definite chill in the air.

  ‘Welcome to the Dennison mansion,’ he said with a grin as she wheeled past him into his unit.

  She laughed, but Ryan could tell she was on edge. ‘It hasn’t changed since last time.’ Her voice was a little unsteady, and she had a flush of colour in her cheeks despite the coolness of the night ‘Except it’s a bit messier. Which makes me think this is a spur-of-the-moment invitation,’ she added.

  ‘Right. I haven’t had time to organise the soft music, candlelight, chilled wine.’ It was his attempt to open the door to the possibility of a romantic evening together. He flicked the switch of the main light but left the softer kitchen light and a small table lamp on.

  ‘That’s better.’ Tara parked next to the sofa. ‘Is it okay if I move to the settee?’

  ‘Yes, of course. Do you need any help?’

  She visibly relaxed and smiled with a gentle understanding. Ryan felt content that Tara’s hackles appeared to be down. She seemed comfortable in his presence, which was a total turnaround since the last time they’d been alone together.

  ‘Do you mind if I watch how you do it?’

  She glanced at him enquiringly. He’d expected at best a reluctant acceptance but she seemed to have acknowledged his ignorance of the practicalities of her disability and was now willing to let him into her world—a world he’d been locked out of for the last eight years. He hoped that at last they were surfing the same wave, aiming for the same place on the shore.

  ‘Why should I mind?’

  Tara removed one of the arms of her wheelchair and lifted herself onto the seat with a quiet strength and grace that tripped a switch in Ryan’s heart. As she settled—arranging her legs, positioning a cushion at her lower back and moving from side to side until she found the place that was most comfortable—Ryan went over to the small kitchen.

  ‘Coffee and cake?’

  ‘I’d prefer a cup of tea, but a definite yes to Liz’s cake.’

  ‘Coming right up.’

  Ryan was aware of Tara’s gaze following his every move as he boiled the kettle and made the drinks, retrieved milk from the small fridge, rummaged in several cupboards looking for a tray, and finally brought the drinks and set them on the coffee table. He then sliced the rich chocolate cake and served it on two plates with the generous dollop of cream that his kind, multi-talented receptionist had provided.

  ‘Looks delicious—although Liz might well be killing us with kindness. All that sugar and cholesterol. I’ll have to work out for twice as long tomorrow.’

  ‘You work out?’

  ‘Every day, if I can.’

  Tara forked a piece of cake into her mouth and then licked a trace of cream from her upper lip. Ryan could barely suppress a groan of pleasure, but he managed to keep a straight face as she continued with her explanation.

  ‘I have a small gym of sorts in a room off my bedroom. It used to be a walk-in wardrobe. I do weights. I have a rowing machine, and another piece of motorised equipment a bit like a bike, which helps maintain flexibility and mobility in my legs.’

  Wow. No wonder Tara was in such good shape. She’d always been slim, but now she was much fitter. She leaned over to reach for her cup. Ryan’s gaze flicked to the smooth, inviting expanse of Tara’s neck and the seductive fullness of her perfect breasts.

  ‘You’re a very beautiful woman, Tara, and I don’t just mean on the outside,’ he said quietly, and then paused, gathering his thoughts. There was something he needed to know but he didn’t want to upset Tara by asking insensitively. He decided to go ahead anyway. ‘I don’t understand why you’ve not married again or at least had a boyfriend? Because you were so adamant you didn’t want me after the accident I hoped you’d find someone else.’

  She looked at him for a moment, before focusing on the wall opposite.

  ‘I…Because…there was never anyone…er…’ Tara cleared her throat, her eyes damp with threatening tears. ‘I didn’t fall in love again.’

  Ryan swallowed some cake that threatened to stick in his throat and then followed it with a mouthful of tea. Tara had not had any serious relationships since they’d parted because she hadn’t fallen in love again? He felt guilty, and partly responsible for what must have been eight years of loneliness. No wonder her attitude to him when he first arrived had been distant.

  But he had been Tara’s first and only love and she his. He’d already told her he’d never loved Shannay.

  ‘You know that I never stopped loving you and that I still do.’ It had to be said—he wanted to make it clear—before friendship turned into something more. He moved a little closer to her and grasped her hand. She mesmerised him with her deep grey-blue eyes. Was it desire he saw in their depths?

  Tara leaned across, rested her head on Ryan’s shoulder and sighed.

  ‘Oh, Ryan. Why did you have to come back? I had my future mapped out. I thought I was as happy as I could be. And I honestly can’t think of love. Not now. It’s too hard.’

  Ryan gently stroked her silky hair and resisted the temptation to put words into her mouth. She had to say it.

  He waited.

  ‘There are so many reasons not to even begin a relationship with you. You live and work in the city, you have a daughter. My life…’ she paused and a single tear trickled down her cheek ‘… and my family, my roots, are here.’ She moved away so she was staring directly at him. ‘There’s too much at stake. I’m in a wheelchair, Ryan. I have different needs in a relationship to a normal woman.’ A second tear followed the track of the first and she wiped away the moisture with the back of her hand. ‘But—’

  ‘Can we try?’

  She shivered and then closed her eyes.

  ‘Yes,’ she answered in a husky whisper.

  Ryan lowered his head and planted the gentlest of kisses on her cheek, feeling close to tears himself. This was one remarkably brave woman, and she deserved so much more from life than being tied to her parents and the family farm.

  ‘Do you really want to?’

  The question was loaded with deep respect and a profound love Ryan had never experienced before—not even with Tara. In a way it was a positive that what might be a new beginning, depending on Tara’s answer, would be the gateway to a whole new life; a challenging one, certainly, but one that had the potential to have more fulfilling highs to balance the inevitable lows. He had no idea whether it could work, but the only way to find out was to try.

  ‘I think I do.’

  Ryan’s heart burned in his chest and a warm glow spread to every tingling part of his body. He’d had no idea he would feel so elated, so blown away with euphoria at the sound of those four simple whispered words. He hugged her close.

  ‘Here? Tonight? Can we start to learn to love each other all over again?’

  Tara’s reply was husky, but her answer sent his heart racing with anticipation and joy.

  ‘We can only t
ry.’

  * * *

  Tara knew the emotional stakes were high and she was taking a huge risk, but for once she was making an important decision for herself, and she was determined to follow her heart regardless of the consequences.

  ‘Do you want to finish your dessert? I can make a fresh cup of tea.’

  Tara was grateful for Ryan’s sensitivity and amazed she felt so comfortable with him, considering they were about to embark on something that could be the basis of a whole new life for Tara.

  But definitely first things first.

  He was looking at her with tenderness and an empathy she’d never seen from him before. In some ways it was just like old times, but in other ways they had so much to learn about each other. He had the insight to let her call the shots—at least initially. The problem was she didn’t know what the shots were. All she knew was that she nursed a white-hot desire, originating somewhere deep in her chest, filling her with a need she’d only dreamed of experiencing over the past eight long years of celibacy. And she’d given herself permission to act on that need.

  Oh, how she wanted him.

  He ran his fingers softly down her cheek.

  ‘Your skin is so smooth and kissable.’

  Before she had a chance to respond Ryan sighed, and kissed the track he’d made with his fingers. His touch was a magical mix of gentleness and wonder. It sent shivers down Tara’s spine so acute she felt a trembling in her unfeeling toes.

  She opened her mouth as his lips explored, and his tongue probed and searched until he found a spot so arousing she stiffened and a guttural moan escaped from her throat.

  ‘Shall we go to the bedroom?’ he said, kissing her again. ‘Remember I’m still on L plates.’ He sent her a giftwrapped, cheeky smile and raised his eyebrows.

  She laughed. The thought of two worldly wise adults in their mid-thirties who had been married before—to each other—starting over like a pair of star-crossed virginal lovers had a levelling but also a very titillating effect. She had no expectations because she didn’t have any idea what to expect. All she knew was, whatever happened, she wanted it to happen with Ryan.

  ‘Yes, and it’s okay to carry me.’

  He simply nodded, before scooping her up in his arms and then tenderly laying her on the bed. He was primed for her already, but he gave no hint of impatience.

  Tara lay on her back and reached out to Ryan. ‘Come here. I want to undress you,’ she said, with a shyness that dissipated as soon as her lover moved close.

  Ryan lay on the bed beside her and she rolled onto her side as her deft fingers worked their rekindled magic on the buttons of his shirt. She ran her palms down the bare skin of his chest, savouring the warmth of his body and the wiry texture of his chest hair. He grasped her upper arms in a token gesture to stop her before she unzipped his fly and peeled off first his trousers and then his straining briefs.

  He helped her complete the task and smiled cheekily as he said, ‘My turn now.’

  She rolled onto her back and he began to undo buttons and zips and hooks until he’d exposed her nakedness—and, remarkably, she didn’t feel embarrassed at all.

  * * *

  Being with Tara—being in bed with Tara—brought Ryan back to a time when making love with her had been the affirmation of a love so strong, so exquisitely all-encompassing, it had never failed to take his breath away. Was tonight going to prove that Tara had the same depth of feeling for him as he had for her? Was it going to mark the beginning of a new commitment to each other?

  Perhaps he was expecting too much.

  He ran his index finger gently down the sensuous curve of her neck and took a sharp intake of air.

  ‘My God, you are so beautiful, Tara.’

  She looked at him and smiled with a warm flush of what he hoped was desire that seemed to wash over her whole body.

  ‘And so sexy—’

  She put her finger up to his lips to silence him and then moved her hands slowly, seductively down his chest to his groin, in a way that made him feel he was about to explode with the passion he’d bottled up over all the years of being apart.

  He moaned.

  ‘Stop. I want this to last,’ he whispered, before nibbling her earlobe. ‘I want to savour every moment.’ And to rediscover the glorious past but also to find out how she had changed.

  Ryan explored nearly every inch of Tara’s body, and they discovered that in the parts where sensation was unaffected by paralysis her response was heightened. Ryan straddled her hips and blew gently on one of her nipples. It was enough to have her gasping for more.

  ‘Don’t stop,’ she demanded as her grip tightened on his backside.

  So he sucked and nibbled until she cried out in an uninhibited agony of pleasure, and then he continued his journey all the way down to her toes. Although she couldn’t feel his caresses she watched, initially with a look of trepidation on her face and then with apparent delight.

  Ryan remembered how she’d loved him massaging her calves, finding the pressure points on the soles of her feet and sucking her toes. Although it was different now, those same caresses sent a bolt of need through his whole body and he wanted…he wanted tonight to last for ever.

  ‘Can I roll you over?’

  She nodded and grinned. ‘It’s wonderful, Ryan, beyond my dreams.’ She sighed. ‘I never thought—’

  ‘I did,’ he said softly as he gently helped her move.

  When she was lying on her stomach they found pleasure points behind her ears, on the tips of her shoulders, down the length of her spine and, surprisingly, just above the small of her back at approximately the level of her injury.

  They made amazing love, with Ryan watching every moment of her pleasure—and the experience was beyond his dreams. At that moment he knew he would move heaven and earth to win her back.

  * * *

  Tara was incredulous. Although she didn’t climax she felt a deep warmth inside when Ryan orgasmed. The most amazing thing, though, was that her disabilities didn’t seem to matter any more. She was a desirable and sexy woman. And the person who had brought about the transformation was Ryan…her ex-husband…the man she’d tried so hard to erase from her memory and her heart.

  ‘Shall we finish the cake?’ Ryan said dozily as he nuzzled into the crook of her neck. ‘I’m hungry.’ He chuckled as she raised her eyebrows. ‘For food.’

  ‘Okay,’ Tara said, and a few moments later they sat propped up in the small double bed, sipping tea and spooning cake into each other’s mouths. ‘And thanks for tonight.’

  ‘The pleasure was all mine.’ Ryan leaned over and licked the crumbs that had settled between Tara’s breasts. ‘We’ll definitely have to make a habit of this.’ He grinned. ‘Coming back to my place for coffee and cake.’

  ‘I wish it was that easy.’ Some of the pleasure and the sense of freedom at being with Ryan evaporated. If she continued to see Ryan her parents were going to be her biggest obstacle. How would she tell them? What would she tell them? She certainly wasn’t about to reveal she’d slept with him. But she wanted so much to continue their relationship—at least for the time being.

  ‘What are you thinking?’ Ryan said softly.

  ‘I’m wondering what the future holds for us. Revisiting the physical part of our relationship means a great deal to me. Since the accident I’ve never felt attractive in that way.’ She took a deep breath. ‘But to be perfectly honest I want more from a relationship than sex, no matter how good it is.’

  She blushed. It had obviously taken a good deal of courage to lay her thoughts on the table.

  ‘I want more too, and I’m sure if we both want something enough we can make it work—no matter how many obstacles are thrown at us along the way. Maybe we should just take it slowly until we get our heads around what’s happened tonight?’ He reached down and found her hand, intertwining his fingers in hers, but their conversation was interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing. A worried expression appeared on his fa
ce.

  ‘Hello? Ryan Dennison.’

  Tara could only hear it was a woman’s voice, and that Ryan was punctuating an animated monologue with singleword replies. Just before he ended the call he said, ‘Thanks for telling me, Liz. I appreciate it.’

  ‘What did Liz want?’

  ‘She rang to let us know that your parents rang her, worried about you and the fact they couldn’t raise you on your mobile.’

  ‘Oh, I think the battery’s flat.’ Tara sighed, her heart suddenly sinking to her boots. She turned on the bedside light and looked at her watch. ‘Oh no—it’s nearly midnight and I bet they’ve stayed up for me. I’ll have to ring them.’

  ‘What will you tell them?’ Ryan said, reaching for her hand.

  ‘I have absolutely no idea, but I don’t think they’re ready for the truth.’

  CHAPTER TEN

  TARA couldn’t handle trying to explain her way out of spending the evening and half the night with Ryan, so when the phone rang five minutes later he answered it.

  ‘She’s just left,’ he fibbed, with a calm confidence that Tara could never have managed. She could hear the edginess in Jane’s voice, though she could only make out a few of her words.

  ‘I’m sorry I kept her out so late. I understand how worried you must be. But we just got talking and time ran away from us. It’s entirely my fault, Mrs Fielding.’

  He winked as Tara balanced on the side of the bed to put her shoes on. With Ryan’s help Tara had managed to get dressed in double-quick time, and as soon as the phone call ended she’d be in her chair, out the door and on her way.

  ‘I’m not sorry.’ She mouthed the words and Ryan smiled as, still naked, with his phone pressed to his ear, he walked through to the living room, brought in her wheelchair and positioned it where she could easily slide in to it. He was a fast learner.